The Mighty ApeCod

What I Remember

2011-09-11T08:43:00.003-04:00

"A plane hit the World Trade Center." Said Linda, moments after picking up her phone. I remember thinking it must have been a small aircraft that hit the World Trade Center in Boston, after losing control leaving Logan Airport; only blocks away from my desk at Gillette World Headquarters in Southy. Linda Ananian's desk was directly across from mine, I looked up and knew I was wrong as soon as I

36 Movies Reviewed in Four Words or Less

2011-03-13T22:32:00.004-04:00

Your explanation for my months long absence? The doctor says I should try to avoid politics. Otherwise real papers for real college courses have been ebbing my creative flow.So, to address the wanton lack of long promised and never delivered movie reviews; here are the films released in 2010 that I've seen and didn't otherwise cover. In order of release date, reviewed in four words of less.1. The

A Word on Social Networking

2010-09-21T18:49:00.011-04:00

I think the odds are pretty good that more than one person on your Facebook friends list has pleasured themselves to one of your pictures.These odds increase exponentially if you are one or more of the following:A) FemaleB) HotC) An ex-loverD) Post sexy or suggestive pictures of yourself.E) Post perfectly tasteful pictures of yourself whilst wearing high heals and a short skirt... or well,

Bacon: Is There Anything it Can't Do?

2010-05-31T10:28:00.006-04:00

I want to know if there is a single breakfast, lunch or dinner entree that can't be improved with the addition of bacon. Hell, I'd go so far as to say you could add it to most confections. Think about it, bac-nana-split sundae. I know you're instinct is to gag at that thought, but we all know the savory delight that comes from combing a sugary snack with a salty one. Why do you think they add m&

Okay, I'm Done Gushing,

2010-05-25T22:12:00.011-04:00

We now return to our regularly scheduled (yeah right) poor attempts at humor.I loved the Lost finale, it was fulfilling in its open-endedness (no really) but read last Monday's blog if you want my emotional analysis. I'm now gonna give it, the series and its fans some good natured ribbing. Like an old friend that has recently past away, and would have wanted his buddies to get hammered at his

Lost, I Tip My Hat to Thee

2010-05-24T13:29:00.006-04:00

On Wednesday, September twenty-second, in the year of our Lord two thousand and four, at eight o'clock in the evening, eastern daylight time, I turned on my television and started channel surfing.It was that time of year, the networks where launching their fall premieres. Some were season openers of popular existing series', others were brand new entries, and one of those was Lost. I landed on

My Heart Is All a'Smiles

2010-02-14T12:14:00.009-05:00

First, a bit of prose:Single and loving it! I'm sorry if my single female friends are having a tough time today, or at least that's what I'm getting from their status updates on Facebook. Some of them are actually going out on dates with each other! (the hell?) Can you imagine two straight guys going out to a nice restaurant together on Valentine's Day? It's a whole different ballgame for guys

Sometimes Movies Nominated for Oscars Aren't Just for Arthouse Snobs

2010-02-02T21:29:00.006-05:00

Yes I heard that both District 9 and Avatar are up for Best Picture, and no I don't know who I'm rooting for... Star Trek got totally snubbed though! Gonna put my money on The Hurt Locker for the win though, James Cameron got his big winner already.And why are there only three nominees for best visual effects anyway?

This Could Create Controversy

2010-01-31T10:20:00.009-05:00

Please note that though it's not my intent to offend, I know I probably will...Thirty three years ago I was born on January twentieth, that same day James Earl "Jimmy" Carter was inaugurated President of our beloved United States. Star Wars would debuted on May twenty fifth of that year, Elvis died in August and a little song called "Feels Like The First Time" taught us all how to love again.

The Scott Heard Round The World

2010-01-19T21:24:00.005-05:00

By Rotary that circl'd crowd,Their sign's to January's breeze unfurled;Here once hard-working voters stood;And elected the Scott heard round the world.The foe long since in arrogance laughed;Alike the unjust entitled sleeps,And often their leaders gaffedAnd polling downward went those creeps.In this blue state, by bluer more,They placed with joy a voter's booth,That sanity may their deeds restore

2009 Was...

2010-01-19T13:15:00.005-05:00

An awesome year for science fiction, and pretty much crap for every other aspect of society. So lets focus on the positive.I know I already reviewed Star TrekBut every time I watch it I love it more, I find what little that did annoy me previously doesn't really anymore. To the die-hards, I'm sorry but I'm jumping spaceship. I can understand why you're upset, but I don't identify with that

??????

2010-01-07T01:29:00.002-05:00

More to come, I promise and it will be meaningful... Including review of Avatar, that you really all should go see.

Boredom Srikes Everybody

2009-10-30T18:59:00.008-04:00

Fortunately we have cell phone cameras and the interwebs, here are a few I've snapped.There is just something wrong about the name of this place, but I can't put my finger on it.Merge failCAUTION: FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE DE-RESOLUTION!

Check This Out!

2009-09-29T10:42:00.007-04:00

Somebody finally found a use for twelve-sided dice!http://homedecor.cafepress.com/item/d12-rpg-dice-clock/26797947 (You'll have to drag it, Blogspot won't let me link it for some reason.)Oh, and Fourth Edition is an Abomination! Just like hybrid cars, Mega Man legends, and every Metallica album after ...And Justice for All.

...and Starring Megan Fox's Hotness

2009-09-22T13:36:00.005-04:00

Apparently she gets topless in Jennifer's Body... I'm sure other stuff happens, but who cares?Actually I'd like to use this opportunity to expound upon issues I've addressed in the past.Megan Fox is hot, there is no arguing with that: face-melting, mind-bending, coma-inducing-state-of-arousal-hot. But I wish every girl and most women in the country would stop obsessing over being like her.

A Few More Open Letters

2009-09-20T02:49:00.003-04:00

To: HollywoodSTART listening to your fans! The video game industry has figured this out and is kicking your ass! Why did Alien III suck? Because the director wanted to make a movie closer to Alien and audiences wanted a movie closer to Aliens. I could keep going, but I'll stop there.To: All women everywhereSTART caring more about the length of your hair than the size of your bosom. And yes

For the Record

2009-09-08T10:32:00.002-04:00

If you're wondering why I haven't reviewed G.I. Joe yet, it's because I haven't seen it and I'm not going to. G.I. Joe was, is, and forever should be America's highly trained special mission force, "International Team" = "G.I. Joe In Name Only" = not getting my nine bucks. I've had it with Hollywood writers hatin' on America, I really really am. But fear not, I'm still pressuring someone else

I'm Not Gay But My Avatar Is

2009-08-25T12:36:00.024-04:00